Your triggers as your guides, an invite to what needs to be healed.

Welcome to another one of our moments!

The picture doesn’t quite go with the title, does it ?

That’s how I wanted it. I wanted something soothing on this post, something calm and pure while we speak about our today’s topic.

I am so excited to share with you again.

As today’s topic I chose seeing triggers as guides, that guide you deeper into your healing, your hidden parts of yourself.

I want to remind you, before we are getting started, to make your space cozy, what do you need? Is it a cup of tea, a candle, a blanket? What speaks to you most right now ?

So, what are we going to speak about today?

Noticing your triggers can be a way to go deeper into your healing and your heart.

For example, if I get triggered when someone is not responding as quickly as I hoped they would through messages, what can that tell me about me?

Feeling and seeing how another person judges someone is triggering? Why? 

Feeling shame about your body is triggering? Oh, how I understand you, so figuring out and releasing the shame is crucial. Takes time and practice (I am on my way as well).

Can you imagine a scenario where you were triggered by something another person did, a topic, your body, anything that comes to mind? 

How did that feel?

Why do you think that trigger showed up?

Phew, how activating these topics are. Let’s get into it!

My recent examples on triggers

I have a couple of examples that I feel like sharing.

First , what I find is great in any trigger situation is to step out of the emotion/sensation itself and, especially I can speak about anxiety, reminding yourself to breath, it’s okay to feel. Taking a few deep breaths, remembering that that trigger might as well be an old wound coming up so it’s not even always just that moment that is triggering. It is something from the past resurfacing.

What helps me to “come out of the drowning and breathe fresh air” is exactly that. Remembering that I now have tools to handle a situation like that, the feelings, I have now a deeper understanding of what that trigger is trying to tell me, or I can ask myself that question- what is this trying to tell me ?

And remembering that this takes time. The process takes time and doesn’t happen in a second.

When I started writing this post, I didn’t know such a great example would come soon after. 

About 2 days after I started writing, I had a conversation with a close person of mine. We already have different experiences of the world- he is a man, and I am a woman.

But what happened?

The conversation took about 3 hours, my emotions were wilding. We talked about topics that I feel so strongly about and so does he. We expressed our opinions, at moments we felt like we want to prove that each of us had the right opinion.

And what I can tell you after this conversation is that healthy communication takes practice and deep work on oneself. 

Some triggers and feelings that I noticed and wanted to share 

• Having a difference in opinion and wanting to prove and change the other person
• When the other person says something, I strongly disagree with, having the feeling of “going into battle”
• So tightly holding on to what is known, that feels like a protective layer
• Hearing a word and out of context taking offence
• Forgetting that I am speaking to another person, who just as me has opinions, inner workings, experiences, views, etc. And just trying to push the “one and only” right opinion.
• Feeling a trigger when I hear something that I don’t agree with, believe in (can be in many situations)
• And many more…

And one more thing that I noticed in the days after our conversations- how dark can a parsons lense be? 

We each have our experiences, traumas, view of the world that shaped us. Now what I noticed more and more during these days was that much of what I am experiencing now has been shaped by previous traumas in my life. 

Something that happened 10 years ago is still affecting my view on the world, not from the mind, but deep in the body. 

So, my question automatically was- how to heal something that is so deep? It most definitely will take time, I am in.

How I am working with the triggers now 

Broadening my view of any triggering situation, trying to “come out of my lense” and see the bigger picture.

Having tough conversations.

FEELING my emotions. Something that is so deep in the body cannot be healed just through the mind and talking to oneself, in my opinion. Journaling is a wonderful tool, as well as meditation. But what I have found a necessity is FEELING my emotions. Practicing a healthy way of expressing them to others, 

Self-soothing techniques (one could be deep breathing).

Speaking kindly to myself, in a loving, understanding manner.

Pausing in any way I can and reflecting a bit on what is happening in me.

These are my thoughts and if you read my “about me” section you know that this can at times be like my personal journal where you come in and take what resonates. 

So if something spoke to you, I’m glad!

Wishing you best of luck on navigating these triggering moments!

I am with you on this journey!

Best wishes!